Why Did Mitt Romney Win the Primary In Puerto Rico?

 His economic policy is just right for getting the island people back to work

 His calm even keeled presence made him the best choice

 His Hispanic heritage brought the predominantly Latin voters to the polls

 Voters didn't connect with Gingrich's new campaign slogan "My Next Wife... Puerto Rican!"

 Ron Paul broke his hip trying to limbo at a rally in San Juan

 Even in Spanish Santorum sounds crazy

 Strong write in vote for the Cardinal's All Star catcher Yadier Molina cancelled out all other candidates but Romney

 His "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You" duet with Gloria Estefan... Wait, that's why Cuban's like Romney

 Romney personally employs much of the island's people as cleaning staff at his house

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