Outstanding blood-doping charges have barred Lance Armstrong from participation in the Ironman World Championship in Hawaii this fall. Upset by the decision, he ran to the top of a mountain and yelled to all his fans that he would prove the charges false, and then dove into the ocean to swim to Hawaii.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-lance-armstrong-hawaii-ironman-20120614,0,149223.story

In what authorities are now calling “an evil hoax,” fliers posted around the small town of Bethel, Alaska (with a population of 6,000, reachable only by boat or plane) advertising a new Taco Bell, were in fact fake. On the flier, interested parties were directed to a telephone number belonging to an unsuspecting local resident who told callers he had no intention of opening a Taco Bell, but was happy to chat for a while, because he was so cold and lonely.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-taco-bell-alaska-20120614,0,688755.story

An anti-Mitt Romney activist group, jokingly calling themselves "Billionaires for Romney," planned to protest outside a fundraiser for the candidate at the Balboa Bay Club Friday. The protesters quickly realized they made a misstep when they found out the fundraiser was being hosted by Romney supporters “Gajillionaires for Romney.”

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/06/billionaires-for-romney-to-protest-fundraiser-at-balboa-bay-club.html

In an event that only occurs every 105 years, Venus will pass in front of the sun Tuesday, producing a small, visible dot.  Experts warn against looking directly into the sun to view this rare event, recommending instead you not think of an elephant.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/06/transit-of-venus-excitement-builds-for-astronomical-rarity.html

A donation from the Oschin [PRON: Ocean] family to the California Science Center will fund a new wing to house the space shuttle Endeavor. Dubbed the “Samuel Oschin Air and Space Center,” the name will be only slightly more confusing to local elementary school field trippers than the “Carmen San Diego Los Angeles Zoo” and the “Oliver North Southwest Museum.”

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/05/la-museum-to-receive-extraordinary-gift-for-endeavour-exhibit.html

Officials at San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station are stumped as to what’s causing tubes that carry radioactive water to wear down. Apparently they haven’t yet reached “radioactive water” on the list of possible causes.

NOTE: visual might include a checklist of “Possible causes” including
*Cold California weather
*Rabbits
*Radioactive water

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-adv-san-onofre-tubes-20120517,0,4416337,full.story

The 99-year old Angels Gate lighthouse was unveiled Thursday after a $1.8-million restoration effort. Neighbors anticipate the lighthouse will be flipped within the week and divided into four oceanfront condos.

http://www.latimes.com/news/science/environment/la-me-lighthouse-20120517,0,2974572.story

100,000 cyclists and pedestrians took to the streets of Los Angeles in last Sunday's CicLAvia bike festival, leaving the skies polluted with a caustic air of entitlement and superiority.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/04/ciclavia-100000-cyclists-pedestrians.html

Meeting Notes – Dec. 5, 2011

Janel Benisch
*Mail delivery by horseback with today’s needs
*Toy guru, toy rental
*Amanda Knox book deal

Stephen Faulkner
*Kentucky church bans interracial marriage

Jim Rowley
*Year in Review: 2011 people who had their 15 minutes of fame
*Herman Cain family Christmas letter
*Pearl Harbor anniversary, resurrect SCTW sketch from that time

Tim McGeary
*Newt Gingrich says poor kids are lazy
*Horse slaughter legal again

Katie Anderson
*Other republicans looking to get Cain support, Survivor style
*Campaign commercial for Rick Perry

Nahreen Tarzi
*Kentucky church denying various couples marriage
*Because postal service cutbacks, people Christmas shop even earlier
*85-year-old woman strip searched by TSA

Charity Miller
*White-collar prison better
*Herman Cain quits a job black-style
*Juan Corona denied parole, why is he eligible
*Strange Super Bowl mash-ups
*High schoolers make kid eat Oreo soaked in semen

Peter Aiello
*Breakfast Club janitor
*Donald Trump to host one of the debates
*Mitt Romney boring
*U.S. economy is so bad that Mexicans not sneaking in anymore
*Toys for Tits
*Black people back to normal (NBA, Tiger Woods wins, two-liner)

Lycia Naff
*JLo has new 24-year-old backup dancer
*Toddlers and Tiaras, where are they now
*Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston close call at Arclight
*Robert Pattinson dating young starlet
*Kris Humphries wants annulment

Steve Brewster
*Charlie in the Box: stem cell

Kristin Herbert
*TSA 84-year-old strip-searched woman, overreacting
*Only 7% teenagers sexting
*Another Michele Bachmann Christmas story
*The Dance of the GOP
*Song: All the things that go wrong with the holidays

In preparation for the clearing of the OccupyLA encampment, police officers gathered at Dodger Stadium and boarded a fleet of MTA buses for the short drive to City Hall. Officers were instructed to bring their standard issue riot gear and exact change.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-occupy-main-20111201,0,6587035,full.story

The Los Angeles Times reports that no significant injuries resulted from the clearing of the OccupyLA encampment. Police shot one protester with a beanbag, however he quickly deflected it with the outer edge of his left foot and bumped it into the air with the inner edge of his right foot in what would result in a 30-minute, freakin’ awesome hacky sack rally.

You bring beanbags to a hippie gathering, you best be prepared to play.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-occupy-main-20111201,0,6587035,full.story

SCTW – Writers' Meeting – Nov. 28, 2011
Per Ron: write the scenes as if guys are there.

Lucy DeVito, things she’s done:
*Anne Frank
*Crazy Italian
*Really young people
*ABC Family: "Melissa and Joey"
*Likes to do crazy/goofy/physical stuff (per Ron: fight scene)
*per Ron: "Toddlers & Tiaras"
*per Ron: Lucy plays her mom in "Cheers"

Katie Anderson
*Autistic cohost on "The View"
*American Girl doll commercial

Kristen Herbert
*Girl Tweeting about Kansas Gov. gets way more attention
*Palin/Bachmann shoulder angels

Mike Hagesfeld
*Pitch meeting, women in cast pitching sexist ideas

Carrie-Ann Pishnak
*Traditional roles at Thanksgiving
*per Ron: a song “What’s the Deal with These Chicks”

Patricia Villetto
*Yao Ming wine
*Ken Russell died
*Patricia evil plan to replace Ron with bot, evil ensues
*per or Ron: China might bail out Europe

Charity Miller
*Adolf Hitler kids, protective services take all kids with weird names
*Wheelchair woman ticketed at Occupy Wall Street
*Miley Cyrus supports Occupy Wall Street
*Person takes SAT in place of others
*Stalin’s daughter died today

Julian Clark
*U.S. Mint making a coin to commemorate bin Laden death
*Black Friday Olympics
*Cyber Monday, what would happen on other days
*Flashback to Michele Bachmann in high school, shapes political views
*John McCain’s daughter on MSNBC
*A day in the office at Occupy LA
*Obama didn’t mention God in Thanksgiving speech
*Scott Walker recall

Steve Brewster
*Michele Bachmann turned down in high school, bc hideous when opens mouth
*Opener: all sketches written are girl-on-girl action
*How does end of NBA strike impact the WNBA?

Myan Kallweit
*Two Broke Bridesmaids
*Soaking tampons in vodka
*Women in Washington

Maeria Paez
*Day after first woman president takes office (new rules)
*Herman Cain heads-up

Jim Rowley
*Super Committee default rule
*Depressing Christmas album
*Media covering the media not covering Occupy Wall Street properly

Peter Aiello
*Occupy LA runner, with LAPD “we really mean it this time”
*Pitch meeting where Lucy plays roles of her parents
*Sketch written by men of man’s opinion of how women would rule the world
*Twilight Muppets
*Desk piece from Berlusconi trial. No one speaks Italian
*Herman’s Angels

Conrad Murray’s driver told the Los Angeles Times that he felt sympathy for the physician, describing him as "a really good person" who is "surrounded by sharks." Fortunately for Murray, all of the sharks are asleep. Shhh…


http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/11/conrad-murrays-driver-says-doctor-is-surrounded-by-sharks.html

Hate messages flooded Patrick Henry High School where a lesbian homecoming king and queen were crowned. The response caused school officials to reconsider their second choice of school names: Willard Stephens High School, after the lesser-known colonist who was cool with the taxes and not interested in questioning the king.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-1102-homecoming-20111102,0,4623055.story

Frank McCourt announced his decision to sell the bankrupt Dodgers, the first sign that the Occupy LA movement is working. The second sign is that I found a lint-free Raisinet in my couch cushion last night. Suck it, Wall Street.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-dodgers-city-20111103,0,7435421.story